Miracles, A Song, Hope - Just Another Monday

You're probably wondering how I found my miracle in this...I realized that my miracle, in its simplest form is that I still believe. It may sound funny, but with all that the last few years of my life have brought, I've had my share of bang ups, and set backs. Some that would cause most of us to give in to doubt. And many times I have, but I'm always brought back to my core, my faith, my life line. And regardless of all my doubt, fear, hurt, anger...and everything that comes along with difficult times...I still believe. I still have a God who looks beyond all of my brokenness that still looks at me with love and grace. "Even what I don't see..." He helps me believe.

All of this led to the new realization of an old truth...yes it is a miracle that after being jaded and confused I can still stand on my faith...but more remarkable than that is that God still believes in me! With all the mess that I am so much of the time, He still believes in me! Talk about a miracle!

As we continue to place our belief and hope in Him it opens our eyes once again to the truth that He believes in us. The battle then becomes believing what He believes about us. I don't know if this resonates with you in any way (I hope it does) but I still wanted to share with you what has been going on within me. I hope you're encouraged. It's so relieving to know that even when everything else around us says otherwise...God doesn't give up on us; no matter how broken.

Happy Monday!

The Return Of The Missing ME

SO, again I find myself feeling the need to apologize for my lack of blogging. I really have no excuse. I have a lot of time on my hands right now and for some reason feel "distracted" by everything around me BUT my blog. I would like to think that thenegligence is over, but I have no guarantees.

Anyways, moving on, updates! (in no particular order)

Joshua is in the early stages of walking, which is one of the most exciting (and exhausting) things to experience with him.

I went on a job interview a few weeks ago, but did not get it, for reasons unknown to me. It seems to currently be working out okay because with my schedule WIDE open I am able to take advantage of an awesome opportunity to get away for a bit. Which brings me to the next one...

I will be flying alone for the first time in about a week and a half (and for only the second time in my life, the first I really don't remember, so lets be real, its my first time flyinghaha) to Northern California to spend some time with a friend. I'm really excited about it :)

Oh, here's a fun one. I completely missed Easter this year. "How?" you might ask...well its because I was nearly dying. (And yes, the word "dying" is a little bit of an embellishment.) The weekend of Easter I came down with what was quite possibly THE worst flu of my life. I really didn't think I was gonna make it...but all is well. I survived, but not without missing church on Easter...for THE FIRST time in my life haha.

Joshua will be one in exactly 3 weeks. It's insane.

And lastly, today marks the one week countdown to my 22nd birthday. Also insane. This year has just flown by.

Now, friends, I leave you with a few pictures to brighten your day :) Until next time!

Living...Not Just Existing

Do you ever feel like you are merely existing your way through life? Like all you do is just enough to make it through the day? Mere survival. That's exactly how I have felt lately. I know that it's hard to make it in this time we are living in and denial is not going to solve anything, but I have been searching within myself this week for a possible alternative. So often it seems easier to just go "ostrich" on my problems and bury my head in the sand, but all I've found is that when my head comes up it ALL hits me at once. So, needless to say, this isn't working for me. All week, God has really been helping me work through all of this. It's so awesome to have such a safe friend in Him. Even though I have tried to ignore a few of the things he's shown me, he didn't stop reminding me :) He is patient like that. Everything led me to this: small moments, small miracles, small victories, etc. and to enjoy them. I get so caught up in the big, daunting, scary realities in my life that I completely lose sight of the small things, the small, but good things. These things are everywhere! Seriously, they are, we just miss them a lot of the time. And somehow all the small things come together to bring pure, complete joy. It's amazing! It's sometimes hard to keep up these, "searches" for these small things, but when you do, you find that you are no longer existing in auto-pilot. You find that you are living. Living the life that we are called to in Him, a life of joy. Indescribable joy that people ask you about. He never said it was going to be easy. He never said that we were going to have job security in hard economic times. He never said that there was always going to be money in the bank. He never said we were always going to be healthy. He never said we were not going to experience loss. He never said that we wouldn't hurt, or cry, or get angry.

He only said He would never leave us or forsake us.

And our reality, should we choose to accept it and live in it is, that His never leaving us is enough!

Throughout our everyday lives he places reminders that he's still here. How often do you notice them?

You might be wondering what some of these moments are...I can't say what they are for you, but for me they are usually simple and all around. A smile from my nephew. A silly facebook comment from a friend. A funny story told by someone I love. Nachos with a friend. Sharing yogurt with my nephew. A favorite song.

Every good and perfect gift comes from God. Life's not always perfect, but His love is. And out of this perfect love He hides little "good" things all around us, like an Easter Egg Hunt, we just have to find them.

Let's walk this journey together. Let's encourage each other and be open to God giving us the opportunity to be a small joy for someone else.

The Top 5 Things...

I really don't care about but somehow keep hearing about.

(in no particular order)

1. Government bail outs and what executives are doing with them.
2. ALL things "Octo" - Octo-mom, Octo-watch and whatever else the media will come up with.
   
3. Chris Brown and Rihanna.
   
4. Bernie Madoff.
5. "Twilight" and all "Twilight" related things.
   

Okay, so this was just something silly that I needed to post just to get me back on here. I sometimes make myself feel like I need to post something heartfelt and elaborate but right now its getting kinda late and so the thoughts get a little wacky :]

So that's all for now. Until next time, I hope you all are doing great and having an awesome week!

A Call To Prayer - Part 2

Some of you may remember back in November I posted the story about Carlos and Jenn and baby Elijah. Baby Elijah was a miracle since the day of his birth. He had many things going against him, but the chain of prayer and love was much stronger than his little body. Through prayer we all fought for him, for his life. We stood by and watched Jesus carry him through so much longer than science said he could. God is SO Good. But in faith, Carlos and Jenn have always known and believed that Elijah was Christ's first.

Today, Elijah is resting in the Arms of His Maker. We rejoice and thank God for allowing Elijah to spend several precious days with his parents and loved ones. We rejoice because today he is whole and healthy, he is no longer weak by the restrictions of his body.

I call you to prayer once more for this precious family. It will be a long journey of healing for Carlos and Jenn in the days that lie ahead. Pray for constant comfort for them in those moments when they feel the pain and weight of broken hearts. Pray that God will continue to carry them through as He has carried them and Elijah through this far. And especially pray that Elijah's story, and his life of faith, will reach many who have not heard of Christ's love and faithfulness. I truly believe that it will.

Carlos and Jenn, I know there are no words I can say and no way I could possibly understand what you're going through. But I will say this...
I love you guys.
I am here for you.
And well, I love you.

A Full Heart

I feel the need to apologize for my "absence" from writing here on my blog lately. I have mentioned before that I feel as though I have no words every time I sit down to write, while this is still true, it is only partially true...I think. I feel like I'm someone who, one way or another, will always have words. My hesitance has been rooted in the fear that I have nothing uplifting to say. The fact is this: we live in hard times and if the forecast proves to be correct, more difficult days lie ahead. What message of hope can I offer you when I, myself, feel without hope a lot of the time? Now I know that last statement can be easily refuted with the very obvious "My hope is in Christ" assurance. But I need to be real, while in the depths of my being I know that to be true, there are some days where I don't "feel" its truth. If that offended you...well I don't know what to say...its just how I feel sometimes...maybe I'm the only one (I really don't think I am though). No need to worry, I am not going to overwhelm you with the daily struggles I have, but I will tell you that I have bad days and on those days I tend to avoid coming on here...I'm going to try not to do that anymore. Maybe my inner dialogues will somehow resonate with you on your bad days. I hope so.

Here is my present state of being: I have empty pockets and a very full heart. I know so many people in America, and all over the world struggle with the empty pockets, but the tragedy is that so many have empty hearts as well. On those really bad days where I feel like I'm never going to "get my break", I remember that I have so much to live for. I don't always remember right away, in fact, sometimes I don't remember until several days later. The important thing is that I remember, I guess.

• My heart is filled with the love of a Heavenly Father who sacrificed his greatest love for me.

• My heart is filled with the promise that this Father is never going to leave me, even when my "gray Ziggy cloud" causes me feel like he already has.

• My heart is filled with the love and support of 2 grounded parents that remind me, by their very existence, that there is reason to continue pressing on.

• My heart is filled with the companionship of my brothers and sisters-in-law.

• My heart is filled (beyond belief) with the light of 2 little ones, Eliana and Joshua.

• My heart is filled with amazing friendships that most people go their entire lives without experiencing.

• My heart is filled with the hope that God will take an "impossible" (by my standards, not his) situation and work a miracle.

• My heart is filled with the promise of plans to prosper me, not to harm me.

• My heart is filled. Period.

What fills your heart?

A 9-Month Joshua

For your viewing pleasure, here are some pictures I took of Joshua last week when he turned 9 months. He's a pretty hilarious kid. Keeps me laughing. Anyway, not much needs to be said, the pictures speak volumes. Enjoy!

Lately, Joshua has discovered that he loves books.
He particularly likes this one with the flaps.
He just discovered how to look for the flaps himself. :)

I love to watch his little, chubby hands open the books and turn the pages.

And yes, his current reading is "Dirt is Delightful"

He hasn't quite figured out the crawling forward thing,
but is pretty good at going backward.

Anytime I forget to take the red-eye light off...this face happens.
I love it!

This is one of his many excited faces. Can you see his 2 bottom teeth? :)

He seriously is just cute all the time!
(Yes, I do realize I am totally biased)

Really can't say anything about this one.
This is Joshua with a face that says

"Hey! Have a good day!" :)

Hope you all are well and having a good week.