Finally Had Some Time...

I have been wanting to write a new post on here since, well, since after my last post but things just sort of kept getting away from me...

First things first...I want to send some love to the people in my life who are parents dealing with kids that have special needs that need special attention. I am blessed to know a few of these people right now and being near them makes me so proud to know them. I don't know if you've seen the movie I Am Sam but there is a part that if you've seen it you might not remember but it struck a chord with me and I always remember it. In a conversation with his daughter about her absent mother he starts telling her about how Paul McCartney and John Lennon lost their moms when they were very little and then proceeds to tell her in the simplest way..."Only the special people." Only the special people. That's how I feel about people that face immense challenges. God gives a special grace to these "special people." So to these people I would just like to say thank you. Thank you for inspiring me. Your endless well of strength that you draw on straight from the heart of God encourages me and helps me to believe that there is enough grace for me to make it through the day. And to all the other people that maybe carry a different burden but draw on that special strength that only God can give. Thanks to you too.

Through It All

On Wednesday night my parents and I were babysitting my nephew and on our way to church where my dad was going to be teaching the bible study and as soon as we started driving the muffler came loose and was dragging and making some awful noises. So we got off the freeway and pulled into a parking lot and made some phone calls (big thanks to everyone that was there and available to help) and I have to be honest my first reaction was "C'mon God seriously??! Everything else we're dealing with isn't enough?" And then I take Joshua out of his car seat while we're waiting for help and in less than 2 minutes he is sound asleep without a care in the world. His example hit me like a ton of bricks! My mom and I had a conversation about it and were talking about how he has full and complete trust that the people around him that love him are going to take care of him. First and foremost his parents (who by the way are doing an amazing job! I love you Daniel and Guera and I am so proud of you and how well you are living out the role you were meant to play!) and then grandparents and well yours truly and all other extended family, church family, and lets face it he is just so love-able the list goes on. He is so certain that his well being is important to all those around him that he had no reason to worry or do anything other than fall right to sleep. Granted he is only three months old and doesn't have the reasoning skills to think otherwise but still at some point we lose that innocence and start losing that faith and trust not only with the people around us but most importantly God. So as I was freaking out inside my head it dawned on me...there were people around me that God strategically placed that were instantly there for me and our situation. Everything turned out fine all to prove that my worrying made no difference and Joshua's peace allowed him to have a nice little nap and teach me a lesson. Out of the mouth (or sleep) of babes...

I've been off of work since Monday and still have a few days left and contrary to what co-workers told me to do I didn't go out of town. I just stayed put and have found that it was exactly what I've needed. I've sort of unplugged and I've had a chance to get some reading done, done some cooking and really just recharge. The last few months have taken quite a toll and until I was able to stop I didn't realize how tired I had become just from fighting to stay above water. I'm really enjoying the time to not have to do anything and figuring out what's next for me. I haven't written on here as much as I would like to but I'm hoping to keep catching up over the next few days.

Thanks for the feedback, emails, and comments you've posted and sent. I appreciate it and hope that as I figure this out more and more that you'll enjoy yourself and find my musings interesting...more to come later...off to bed for me.

Music Is A World Within Itself...

...Literally it is! Today I went to Taboo Band (check them out at http://www.tabooband.com/) practice with my dad and was amazed at how different and unique each band member is. They may be in different age brackets, different walks of life, different upbringings, etc. but as soon as they are all in a room together, instruments in hand, music is the only commonality and that's enough. They may all live different life styles, have different ideas on who should be the next president, different opinions on what song should or shouldn't be played or how it should be played but in that moment all that matters is that they all have a love for music. Period. And that's enough. There was no underlying competition. Just a group of music lovers that all have respect for each other simply because they love music enough to master their craft. In my opinion each member has the talent to be egotistical and full of themselves but not a single one of them had any type of "holier-than-thou" attitude. If only this kind of respect could be found in everyday life...

...In a Language We All (well maybe not "all") Understand...

So as I'm sitting there watching all these incredibly talented individuals play song after song seemingly effortlessly, I noticed something that I've noticed in observing musicians before. If you've spent any time at all around musicians in rehearsal you may have picked up on this too...and that is how no matter how great or not so great a communicator you are if you're a gifted musician you understand the lingo. And, no, not the lingo that's taught if you study music in a class room...at least that can be deciphered to an untrained ear at some point. No, I'm talking about how some of the most intelligent and talented people communicating in "ba pa da da ba" understand each other. I feel like I would sooner understand my nephew with goo goo's and gaa gaa's. What is so amazing though is that one of them will make a suggestion in this "music-ese" and the other will not only understand what it means...but will then proceed to translate it into their instrument and play it!! This is beyond me. A music professor once said during a lecture that music is "genetically encoded" in our DNA and I guess that's the explanation for this "da da da pa pa" turning into real, live, audible, music. I'm pretty sure this "language" can't be taught but rather is encoded in the really gifted musicians. I don't know. I am still blown away at how people could witness a phenomenon like that (well I think its a phenomenon you may disagree) or hear an amazing composition that could move them to tears and still stand up and say there is no God. Second to a new life, music is one of the most powerfully "tangible" things that without a doubt is God-inspired and God-breathed. And the truth is that it is God-inspired and God-breathed whether you believe in it or not...that brings the phrase "its not about you" to mind. Anyway, I had a blast watching these guys play and look forward to many more opportunities. For your enjoyment, here is one of their videos...



until next time...

Christian The Lion

There are very few people that haven't seen this but for those of you who haven't here it is, because everyone needs to see this. It is such a clear picture of love and friendship. There isn't much I can say about it, it speaks for itself in such a strong and powerful way. Enjoy.

Crayon Analogy

"Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I've got a few missing. It's ok though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type.. I'm like, "hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "no - I want magenta!"

-John Mayer-

I read this quote and loved it instantly! I must admit though that I was a little biased considering I'm a huge John Mayer fan, but still it made me think...

How often do we cheat ourselves simply because we get stuck in an 8-color rut? Or worse than that a 2-color one, where all we see is black and white. Anyway, I just loved the analogy. It serves as a constant reminder to always keep an open mind and heart to all things, all colors. Each one of our lives is a work of art started by The Master and Creator, but it is up to us after that to decide what it is we will do with it. Sure, its perfectly fine to just use the 8-colors but how much more beautiful and vibrant will your life be if you use all the colors that are available to you? I have been truly blessed with the people and experiences that have added so much to my life so far. I will not deny however I have known some people and experiences that are some of the ugliest colors I have ever seen but at the end of the day it has allowed me to appreciate the beautiful ones all the more.

I don't want to be a person that misses out terribly on all the amazing things ahead of me just because something is a new color that maybe I've never seen before and waste time trying to figure out which one of my 8 colors it is. I want to remain open to new things and new combinations of old things. I don't want to place 8-color barriers on my life, I want to live it and experience it fully. And I challenge you to do the same...and let's see what kind of masterpiece we make of it...

So to wrap it up here, this is my blog, it will be random and unpredictable but its a place where I can just throw stuff out there, a place to sort out my thoughts, raw and uncut. Also, as an added bonus its a place where my friends and family can check in from time to time since everyone is all over the place. It's just me. (And for my family that is scattered throughout the occasional update on Joshua too) That's all.