I feel the need to apologize for my "absence" from writing here on my blog lately. I have mentioned before that I feel as though I have no words every time I sit down to write, while this is still true, it is only partially true...I think. I feel like I'm someone who, one way or another, will always have words. My hesitance has been rooted in the fear that I have nothing uplifting to say. The fact is this: we live in hard times and if the forecast proves to be correct, more difficult days lie ahead. What message of hope can I offer you when I, myself, feel without hope a lot of the time? Now I know that last statement can be easily refuted with the very obvious "My hope is in Christ" assurance. But I need to be real, while in the depths of my being I know that to be true, there are some days where I don't "feel" its truth. If that offended you...well I don't know what to say...its just how I feel sometimes...maybe I'm the only one (I really don't think I am though). No need to worry, I am not going to overwhelm you with the daily struggles I have, but I will tell you that I have bad days and on those days I tend to avoid coming on here...I'm going to try not to do that anymore. Maybe my inner dialogues will somehow resonate with you on your bad days. I hope so.
- My heart is filled with the love of a Heavenly Father who sacrificed his greatest love for me.
- My heart is filled with the promise that this Father is never going to leave me, even when my "gray Ziggy cloud" causes me feel like he already has.
- My heart is filled with the love and support of 2 grounded parents that remind me, by their very existence, that there is reason to continue pressing on.
- My heart is filled with the companionship of my brothers and sisters-in-law.
- My heart is filled (beyond belief) with the light of 2 little ones, Eliana and Joshua.
- My heart is filled with amazing friendships that most people go their entire lives without experiencing.
- My heart is filled with the hope that God will take an "impossible" (by my standards, not his) situation and work a miracle.
- My heart is filled with the promise of plans to prosper me, not to harm me.
- My heart is filled. Period.
What fills your heart?
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1 comments:
i think those times when you feel you have nothing to say because you're low is the best time to write. it's the best time to reflect on why you feel so down. the writing or message may not be clear because anger or depression usually stifles us. as we release these thoughts our confusion or hurt can be seen clearer and put to rest quicker. we make a realization that our dismay or loss of hope is silly or our anger was irrational. yes words can hurt but they also relieve, encourage, inspire, and reassure. i know personally without my writing i wouldn't be able to realize a lot of things because we forget how we were and how we still are...for me my writing helps me change and grow. some may not think this is healthy but it's a lot healthier than not expressing how i feel. i'd rather write down my angry rant than irrationally chew out someone that doesn't really deserve it. haha but yeah don't be afraid of what you really want to say. don't apologize and be wary of trying not to offend someone. truth is you are always going to offend someone whether you try to or not. i'm not saying go crazy and flip everyone the bird haha but say what you have to say with respect.
and my heart is filled with the joy and laughter of those that are a part of my life.
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