Finally Had Some Time...

I have been wanting to write a new post on here since, well, since after my last post but things just sort of kept getting away from me...

First things first...I want to send some love to the people in my life who are parents dealing with kids that have special needs that need special attention. I am blessed to know a few of these people right now and being near them makes me so proud to know them. I don't know if you've seen the movie I Am Sam but there is a part that if you've seen it you might not remember but it struck a chord with me and I always remember it. In a conversation with his daughter about her absent mother he starts telling her about how Paul McCartney and John Lennon lost their moms when they were very little and then proceeds to tell her in the simplest way..."Only the special people." Only the special people. That's how I feel about people that face immense challenges. God gives a special grace to these "special people." So to these people I would just like to say thank you. Thank you for inspiring me. Your endless well of strength that you draw on straight from the heart of God encourages me and helps me to believe that there is enough grace for me to make it through the day. And to all the other people that maybe carry a different burden but draw on that special strength that only God can give. Thanks to you too.

Through It All

On Wednesday night my parents and I were babysitting my nephew and on our way to church where my dad was going to be teaching the bible study and as soon as we started driving the muffler came loose and was dragging and making some awful noises. So we got off the freeway and pulled into a parking lot and made some phone calls (big thanks to everyone that was there and available to help) and I have to be honest my first reaction was "C'mon God seriously??! Everything else we're dealing with isn't enough?" And then I take Joshua out of his car seat while we're waiting for help and in less than 2 minutes he is sound asleep without a care in the world. His example hit me like a ton of bricks! My mom and I had a conversation about it and were talking about how he has full and complete trust that the people around him that love him are going to take care of him. First and foremost his parents (who by the way are doing an amazing job! I love you Daniel and Guera and I am so proud of you and how well you are living out the role you were meant to play!) and then grandparents and well yours truly and all other extended family, church family, and lets face it he is just so love-able the list goes on. He is so certain that his well being is important to all those around him that he had no reason to worry or do anything other than fall right to sleep. Granted he is only three months old and doesn't have the reasoning skills to think otherwise but still at some point we lose that innocence and start losing that faith and trust not only with the people around us but most importantly God. So as I was freaking out inside my head it dawned on me...there were people around me that God strategically placed that were instantly there for me and our situation. Everything turned out fine all to prove that my worrying made no difference and Joshua's peace allowed him to have a nice little nap and teach me a lesson. Out of the mouth (or sleep) of babes...

I've been off of work since Monday and still have a few days left and contrary to what co-workers told me to do I didn't go out of town. I just stayed put and have found that it was exactly what I've needed. I've sort of unplugged and I've had a chance to get some reading done, done some cooking and really just recharge. The last few months have taken quite a toll and until I was able to stop I didn't realize how tired I had become just from fighting to stay above water. I'm really enjoying the time to not have to do anything and figuring out what's next for me. I haven't written on here as much as I would like to but I'm hoping to keep catching up over the next few days.

Thanks for the feedback, emails, and comments you've posted and sent. I appreciate it and hope that as I figure this out more and more that you'll enjoy yourself and find my musings interesting...more to come later...off to bed for me.