Peace Out!...and In!!

Graduation season has come and almost gone, and honestly I struggled to get through it. I saw picture after picture of people that graduated high school the same year as I did graduate from college this year. In a perfect world I would have been one of them. In the last four years my life has had several unexpected turns...one after the other, after the other. They have been some of the most challenging years and experiences of my life to date. I have yet to see the rhyme or reason to it all, but still I am here.

I have had my moments over the last few weeks as I watched people graduate where I wallowed in self pity which, ironically, led me to a realization that brought so much peace to my heart.

My life is NOTHING like I imagined it would be at this point, but somehow I have this overwhelming peace within that I am EXACTLY where I am SUPPOSED to be. Sometimes it feels like I'm nowhere hoping to end up somewhere, but the truth is that God knows my eternity. Someway the experiences that have brought me here are all pieces of the puzzle. While that fact alone is not always comforting, it doesn't cease to be truth.

For the first time in my life I am beginning to understand what it means when the Bible says in Phillipians 4:7 "And the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus."

They used to be just words on a page. Now they are living, breathing, life-changing. There is no explanation for me to have peace that I am in the right place at the right time when nothing around me points toward answers. Nothing tells me where I am going. Nothing on the outside says I'm going anywhere. But yet I know that I am somewhere now. Beyond any answers I have...I know that I am exactly where I need to be for whatever it is that is next for me.

In the middle of an ongoing storm, in the middle of a desert surrounded by unanswered questions, in the middle of a world at war...

I have peace. My heart is at peace. When my mind struggles to be at peace my spirit takes over and keeps me at peace. Beyond my understanding I have peace and I am trusting that God is guarding my heart and mind from the voices inside that tell me I am on a road going nowhere. More than anything a college degree could give me right now...I have peace.

Peace Out!

SOOOO Excited!!!

I stumbled upon this yesterday....and since I'm such a HUGE John Mayer fan (what with my blog name being inspired by him and all haha), I thought I would share.

He is currently working on his fourth album. He has turned an entire house into a recording facility. Which, lets face it, is pretty awesome. :) Anyway, he has dedicated a whole page of his website to serve as a blog where he is writing pretty consistently on how things are progressing and posting videos and teasers on what we can expect to here on the new record. I was really excited and had a lot of fun catching up with it, he started it January so I was behind. Anyway, its lots of fun and in case you haven't gathered it...I'm SUPER excited that I can now look forward to some new music from John Mayer :) Plus I think its awesome that he's letting his fans in on his creative process.

Here is one of my favorite videos from the blog, as an example of some of the fun you can expect to encounter on it :)



Click here to check out his blog for Battle Studies.

Today:

I am grateful for my friends.

We each have our own definition of what a friend is but, I decided to look the word friend up in the dictionary. Some of the definitions were -

1. One attached to another by affection or esteem.
2. One that is not hostile.
3. A favored companion.

Now here is my definition -

1. One that is always there to help you put the pieces of your life back together when life breaks you into a million pieces.
2. One that listens whether they're interested in what you're talking about or not; they are simply interested in you.
3. One that is there to laugh at a tough situation before you're ready to laugh at it...because they know you need to.

And so much more. There's always questions that remain unanswered with each day, but for today...just for today I'm grateful for my friends.

To all of you that are there for me.
To all of you who laugh at me.
To all of you who laugh with me.
To all of you that let me laugh at you.
To all of you that listen to me.
To all of you who trust me.
To all of you who make life's blows just a little bit softer.
To all of you who are my friend.

The hugest, heartfelt THANK YOU.

It is you that make my heart smile on the darkest days.
Thanks for "claiming" me as your friend even when I'm completely losing it.
Most of all...thank you for your love, support, and FRIENDSHIP.

I love you.

“Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you."
-Charlie Brown to Snoopy

Excuse Me While I Rant...

Okay, so you know how it feels when a team you're on has a team member that makes a mistake? Let me elaborate...not just a little mistake, but a stupid one. The kind of mess up that makes you put your head in your hands and want to cut all ties with this team so that you aren't guilty by association. I've never been much for team sports, I don't have a competitive bone in my body, but I am familiar with the kind of feeling I just described.

The worst part (other than my lack of hand eye coordination preventing me from succeeding at any sport) is that this "team" of which I speak is my, it pains me to say, "fellow Christians." Ouch.

So, to many this may seem trivial but I feel that it is rant-worthy. Earlier this week Season 8 contestant, Kris Allen was named this year's American Idol (Yay Kris!!! I voted for him.) and with it came a lot of talk from, well most people analyzing his win. It was unexpected to most and is being called an "upset" by some. Anyway, the reason for my rant is that Kris (a Christian worship leader) was portrayed as the "good one" vs. Adam the apparent "bad one". People have a need to judge and categorize and I get that, and it is a competition that people are supposed to judge which I also get, but what upset me is all the people speaking from the "christian" community. Many of them are happy that Kris won simply because of their disagreement with Adam's lifestyle choices. And many are happy with his win because they are hoping that once American Idol has their one record with Kris, that he will return to his "roots" and release a Christian album.

My response to those that support Kris out of their lack of support for Adam is: Why even watch the show? Hello, its the entertainment industry, not exactly the place you want to go if you don't like being offended by lifestyle choices. I'm sure there are plenty of people just walking down the street that you can judge way too harshly. Forget the fact that even though we may disagree with the choices of some, we are still supposed to love them back to the heart of God. And let's face it, a lot of the people judging Adam so harshly, probably aren't even watching the show regularly, but just need their judgment fix where they pretend to play God. Sorry, but this is taking the idea of being "Christ-like" waaay out of context.


Secondly, my response to those that want Kris to release a Christian album: Why is it that you can't just embrace the idea that he could more effectively reach people in the (I hate this word, but) secular market where they most need to be reached? Why should he put out music to saved people when he could quite possibly "save" more people by being a good example of how you can be a Christian and release music that uplifts people and covertly leads them to God's heart. If Kris has a personal relationship with God then no matter what words he sings, God can flow through him to touch people. I think that's part of why Kris has been so great at connecting with people. (And let's face it, if Adam had a personal relationship with God, the same principal would apply) There is something about him that, I feel, brings hope to people...hmm what is it in him that could bring hope to the hopeless?

Anyway, it is my belief that Kris is exactly where he is supposed to be and I hope he keeps on doing what he's led to do. He could potentially impact a lot of people by the light that shines through him. Someone has to successfully convey the truth of God's love. None of this judgmental, let's have the Christians only make music for other Christians stuff... we need to broaden our minds and start to believe that God is everywhere, is in everything, and will reach people with his love however he sees fit and if He needs to he will do it without our help. And He will do it through whoever is willing. Regardless of whether or not we think its appropriate.

Like I said, I just needed to rant. I sometimes strongly dislike my affiliation with Christianity as a whole. I know that I am NOT perfect, in fact, no where near it, but I feel that we are in a time where the pettiness needs to stop and we just need to reach people in all walks of life, through any avenue we can.

So, congrats to Kris.

My 3 Favorite Songs...

Right now, at least. (They are in no particular order)

1.) Jails and Bombs - Amos Lee
2.) Never the Same - Gavin DeGraw
3.) Be Somebody - Kings of Leon

[the first and third I have to thank my brother for :) he introduced me to them...Thanks Fry!]

Hope you're all having a great week!

Miracles, A Song, Hope - Just Another Monday

You're probably wondering how I found my miracle in this...I realized that my miracle, in its simplest form is that I still believe. It may sound funny, but with all that the last few years of my life have brought, I've had my share of bang ups, and set backs. Some that would cause most of us to give in to doubt. And many times I have, but I'm always brought back to my core, my faith, my life line. And regardless of all my doubt, fear, hurt, anger...and everything that comes along with difficult times...I still believe. I still have a God who looks beyond all of my brokenness that still looks at me with love and grace. "Even what I don't see..." He helps me believe.

All of this led to the new realization of an old truth...yes it is a miracle that after being jaded and confused I can still stand on my faith...but more remarkable than that is that God still believes in me! With all the mess that I am so much of the time, He still believes in me! Talk about a miracle!

As we continue to place our belief and hope in Him it opens our eyes once again to the truth that He believes in us. The battle then becomes believing what He believes about us. I don't know if this resonates with you in any way (I hope it does) but I still wanted to share with you what has been going on within me. I hope you're encouraged. It's so relieving to know that even when everything else around us says otherwise...God doesn't give up on us; no matter how broken.

Happy Monday!

The Return Of The Missing ME

SO, again I find myself feeling the need to apologize for my lack of blogging. I really have no excuse. I have a lot of time on my hands right now and for some reason feel "distracted" by everything around me BUT my blog. I would like to think that thenegligence is over, but I have no guarantees.

Anyways, moving on, updates! (in no particular order)

Joshua is in the early stages of walking, which is one of the most exciting (and exhausting) things to experience with him.

I went on a job interview a few weeks ago, but did not get it, for reasons unknown to me. It seems to currently be working out okay because with my schedule WIDE open I am able to take advantage of an awesome opportunity to get away for a bit. Which brings me to the next one...

I will be flying alone for the first time in about a week and a half (and for only the second time in my life, the first I really don't remember, so lets be real, its my first time flyinghaha) to Northern California to spend some time with a friend. I'm really excited about it :)

Oh, here's a fun one. I completely missed Easter this year. "How?" you might ask...well its because I was nearly dying. (And yes, the word "dying" is a little bit of an embellishment.) The weekend of Easter I came down with what was quite possibly THE worst flu of my life. I really didn't think I was gonna make it...but all is well. I survived, but not without missing church on Easter...for THE FIRST time in my life haha.

Joshua will be one in exactly 3 weeks. It's insane.

And lastly, today marks the one week countdown to my 22nd birthday. Also insane. This year has just flown by.

Now, friends, I leave you with a few pictures to brighten your day :) Until next time!